Life was supposed to be fair...
Hi friends! March has come and gone like it had somewhere to be, and it looks like April is following in its footsteps. Usually I would have had another post up by now, but I am releasing myself from the pressure of posting just for the sake of it. I hope you are doing the same in your lives.
I took a few days to unplug from the constant dinging of my phone and had some time to reflect on where I am at this stage in my life, and how vastly different I thought it would be. I’m pleased to say that it wasn’t all negative (please clap 😂), BUT it did start off that way. Here me out. My life was supposed to be fair. If you’ve read anything of mine or followed me on social media then you know at one point-in-time I was the poster child for a certain section of Christianity. I grew up heavily religious, I knew all the books of the Bible, I could tell you all the stories, and I followed all of the rules. I was taught that because I did this, my life was going to come with a series of rewards; finances, a nice car, a husband…that whole white picket fence thing. On the flip side, if I didn’t get any of those things, it meant that somehow I was unworthy and a sinner. Well guess what? I drive a 2017-year car, have no husband, and the economy sucks, so even though I am making the most money I’ve ever made, inflation is eating it up. 😊
But I’m still worthy anyway. And to be honest, I’m doing better than I realize.
But for a long time, I wallowed, because my life was supposed to be fair. I did everything “right”, so what happened?
As I’ve gotten older I realized that many of the rules bestowed upon us by the church are just other forms of control. “The fear of God” actually was used as a way to get us to do whatever the authoritative power wanted at the time. Policing women’s bodies and making us feel like we were responsible for preventing men from “temptation” was actually projection and a way to shift accountability. Promises of a lavish lifestyle if you follow the rules was just prosperity gospel wrapped up in a shiny package to get more bodies into seats on Sunday morning.
Now don’t get me wrong, my faith is still strong, but it’s time we took a deep dive into the theology some of us grew up on, and the way it has shaped how we view the world around us. While I’m glad I’m past the bitter “What about me?” stage, there are still so many young women and men who feel like a “Good God” did them a disservice because they followed the rules of men.
So, I get it. Life was supposed to be fair. But the reality is, it isn’t always that way. The good news is that there are a few things we can (try) to do to mitigate that.
Be willing to unlearn. It sucks, but some of the things we were taught were just…well wrong.
Lean into your community. If you haven’t learned already you will, you can’t do this thing alone. Ask for help.
Remember that you are worthy. A harsh life (or season) doesn’t mean you did something wrong.
Stop comparing yourself. A huge part of my attitude was simply because I wasn’t occupying the lane I was meant to be in.
It’s not over if you’re still breathing. Don’t quit.
Love always,
CDOG