Love is...
Hello friends! I’m currently writing to you from a place of deep introspection, while listening to Victoria Monét’s “Good Bye”. (It’s so good to see her getting her flowers, and she is a reminder to keep going). Anyway, this is the time of year where those who happen to be single usually lament about their lack of Valentine’s Day plans, or desire for companionship. As a member of the club, I get it. There is a lot going on and sometimes we may feel like having a partner could take the load off a little. What I’ve come to learn is that while romantic love may be the standard for some of us, it’s definitely not all there is. The love we seek to give to others comes from inside ourselves first. I know it’s cliche, but you really can’t give someone something that you don’t possess.
Some of you may be familiar with the scripture that describes what love is:
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (NIV)
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails.
Now if you don’t read the Bible or believe in God, I understand. However, I think this passage can be useful anyway in taking a closer look at what love really is, and how we can love ourselves and others. Humor me for a few moments while I attempt to break this down:
Love is patient and kind: How gracious have you been to yourself this week? A patient love sees beyond the faults of others (and ourselves). How much grace are you willing to extend to others? (Now there are some exceptions to this, but for the most part, I hope you’re following me.) When your friend hasn’t hit you up lately, do you just assume they are acting “funny”? Or do you check in and see how they are doing? Often the way people treat us is a reflection of them, not us.
It does not envy, boast or is proud: When is the last time you did something for someone and didn’t post it on social media? Or keep score and expect something back from them? How often have you scrolled on IG and said “man, I wish I had what they have”?
It does not dishonor others, is not self-seeking: True love is service. The end. I do not believe you can love and not seek to be of service in some way.
Is not easily angered: See love is patient. Sometimes we have to love people and see them beyond their circumstances.
Always protects, trusts, hopes and perseveres: Love is knowing that things can get better if we just have a little faith.
Doesn’t fail: You can’t lose when you lead with love. Even if the results aren’t what you expect, you can walk away knowing you put your best effort out there. That’s always a win.
With that in mind, how much have you loved yourself and others lately? I truly believe this crazy world would be a tad bit better if we put more effort into loving ourselves and those around us. True love is community. Let’s try a little harder to emulate it.
Love always,
CDOG