"My Hair used to be Long When I was Little..."

Hello again, friends. (Wait, are we friends? I sure hope so, because if you’ve been on this journey with me, I’ve shared some of my most intimate thoughts on these digital pages.) I hope the title got your attention, because we’re about to get into the weeds today. Ready? Let’s do it.


“My hair used to be long, when I was little, I swear.” After saying that phrase I would search the archives of my phone to find the one picture of me at six as proof. (I still have it, too.) *insert a record scratch freeze frame* You’re probably wondering how we got here and what the heck this topic has to do with anything.

Well, let me take you back to 2005, and no I will not say how old I was then, because I don’t want y’all calling me old. To make a long story a little less long (I borrowed that statement from one of my friends), after my parents divorced, my father remarried a woman who was…not nice. I vividly remember being told how beautiful, thick and long my hair was growing up, and at that time, it was kind of my identity. I put all of my self-esteem into my hair. For reasons still unknown to me, I was picked up from school early and taken to an apartment with a single barber’s chair, and all of my hair was cut. (No, this is not a joke, I went to school with a hat on the next day.) To make matters worse, I had not really gone through puberty yet, so I looked like a little boy, and my confidence was shot. Who was I without my hair?!

When my hair finally started growing back, I made a vow that I would never cut it again. This was also around the time where long hair was in, and women with longer hair were deemed desirable. In simple terms, I was a hater. I know you’ve seen the tweets: “My hair used to be long when I was little”. Yeah, that was me, but in real life at age… (Whew, I almost let it slip😂). At the time, long hair was the peak of attractiveness, and I fell short.

Anyway, fast forward to today, and I have realized that I have always placed most of my sense of self-worth on whether I was physically attractive or not. Let’s be real, if you are deemed conventionally attractive, you have more opportunities than those who are not. (Don’t believe me? Click here.) I wanted in the pretty club! I have spent a majority of my 20’s working on my outer appearance, and that’s cool I guess, but looks will fade, and what really matters is what’s on the inside. So, instead of honing in on my fabulous shoulders, I’ve been paying attention to the other attractive parts of myself. Am I kind? Am I understanding? Am I gentle? Am I loyal? Honest?

I know, I know, it sounds so cliché’, but it’s so true. So while yes, my hair did grow back, other parts of me have grown as well, and I’m looking forward to becoming as attractive inside as I am outside (because um, I am cute. Yes, I did just toot my own horn, and I’m giving you all the permission you need to do the same for yourself. 😂)

So, yes, your hair may have been long when you were little, but how big is your heart? I promise people will remember your spirit just as much as they remember your looks. (I was going to say how long is your heart but that doesn’t make sense…)

Love always,

CDOG