Apologies...
I say “I’m sorry” a lot. A whole lot. A whole, whole lot.
I didn’t realize it until one of my friends pointed it out and told me to stop. Guess what my response was? “Oh, you’re right. I’m sorry.
Ugh.
Today we’re going to get straight to the point: Stop Apologizing. I’ll say it again: Stop Apologizing. How about a third time for good measure? Stop Apologizing.
You may be doing it and don’t even realize it. If you’ve said any of these things, you were probably over-apologizing:
A waiter brings out your order and it’s incorrect, and you say : “I’m so sorry, but I didn’t order that.” Why are you apologizing, they got your order wrong.
Saying “I’m sorry to bother you” before asking someone a question.
If you’re like me and struggle with this, here are some reasons you may possibly be doing it, and how to stop.
You fear abandonment: I’ll just say this, over apologizing isn’t going to stop people from leaving your life. In fact, since it’s so annoying, it may drive them away more quickly.
You want everyone to like you: News flash, no matter how nice or kind you are, there will still be people who don’t like you.
You’re trying to keep the peace: This one is personal for me, since I don’t like conflict. Apologizing may keep the peace for now, but apologizing (especially if you didn’t do anything wrong), is silly, and put the blame on you for something you didn’t even do.
It may seem like you’re doing the right thing in these instances, but there are some negatives to over-apologizing:
People lose respect for you: You may think that you’re coming off as being nice and respectful, but it sends the message that you lack confidence.
It’s annoying: As someone who is trying to take my own advice here, I sometimes get annoyed with myself for doing this, so I can only image how frustrating it can be for the person(s) constantly receiving the apologies.
It’s easier said than done, but there are a couple of things you can do to stop:
Be more self-aware: Every time you feel the need to apologize, stop. Assess the situation first.
Change your perspective: Instead of saying “I’m sorry”, say “Thank you for catching that".
Here’s to being more self-aware, and saving the “I’m sorry” for when it’s actually necessary.
You got this.
Love always,
CDOG