1 in 5.

1 in 5.

That’s the number of people in the United States that suffer with a mental illness. In case you started doing the math, that comes out to 51.5 million (in 2019.)

That means that it’s very likely that either you or someone you know is suffering with some kind of hyperactive brain function. (That’s what I sometimes like to call it.) It’s almost like an invisible disability, because most of the time you’ll have no idea that someone is dealing with it.

Let’s be honest, mental illness isn’t something that’s fun, easy, or light to talk about, but its real, and COVID has seemed to be a catalyst in this discussion. I have see first hand the damage that unchecked mental illness can do. Growing up in a Black Christian household, therapy was almost like saying a curse word. It was always “What do you need a therapist for?”, or “Jesus is everything you need”, or the worst one of all “What goes on in this house, stays in this house.” It wasn’t until I became an adult that I realized that while yes, Jesus is the answer, therapy can be too. I am estranged from a family member right now because I suggested therapy to try to heal years of unresolved issues, and it wasn’t received well. To this day, I am still confused as to why therapy is looked down on, because just as I’ve seen the damage unchecked mental illness can do, I’ve also witnessed what doing the “hard work”, can do.

Mental Illness has an effect far beyond just the mind. People with depression have a 40% higher risk of developing cardiovascular and metabolic diseases than the general population, and mood disorders are the most common cause of hospitalization for all people in the U.S. under age 45 (after excluding hospitalization relating to pregnancy and birth).. It literally has a rippling effect. Last year my body went into shock because of the tremendous amount of stress I had been going through.

I’ve shared my story several times on this platform and my book, but I’ll share it again because it’s relevant. Growing up in multiple households with both physical and emotional abuse, coupled with almost no affection or supportive talk from my parents, and losing a parent at 15 has definitely taken a toll on my mental health as I’ve aged. Overthinking, fear of situations that haven’t happened or may never happen, keeping a wall up, etc. It’s all a day to day process to tune many of these things out, but it’s hard, and honestly at the moment it seems like a losing battle. (And yes, I am still in therapy. And yes, I am still sometimes ashamed at that fact. And yes, sometimes i feel broken and unworthy of love/ friendship/ community because of the issues I’m working through.) With all of that, there are a few things I’d like to share that I’ve been trying to practice on a daily basis:

  1. Not taking things so personally: Most of the time, it’s not about you. EVERYONE is going through something, even if they make it seem like they have it altogether.

  2. Not internalizing other peoples struggles as your own: This one is hard for me, because I feel everything deeply. If someone I care about is hurting, I automatically go into “fix it” mode. Usually I’m willing to go leaps and bounds for people, and most of the time they aren’t even asking me to do that. I’m learning that you can still be compassionate without taking on the weight of everyone’s issues.

  3. Forgiveness. Still working on this one, so I’m not even going to try to give advice right now, because it’s be hypocritical.

  4. I am the prize. The first time I said that to myself I felt weird, because how could someone who is going through so much be a prize? Even now it’s still awkward for me to list the things I love about myself. However, trials and tribulations don’t make anyone any less deserving of love, respect, and community. Plus, I am kinda fine. 😂

  5. I am not broken. I am not broken. I am not broken.

  6. The hurt that I’ve gone through isn’t my fault, but healing from that hurt is my responsibility. If I want to truly be the best version of myself, I have to heal.

  7. Saying all of the above to myself everyday. I mean it, I say these things to myself DAILY. It may be starting to stick

It’s hard, you may have days where you just don’t feel like it. Trust me, I get it. But you can do it. You can heal. You can forgive. You can become the best version of yourself, for YOU. I am continuously thankful for the people that extend grace to me when I can’t even extend it to myself.

If you’d like more resources on Mental Health Awareness Month and why it’s important to help raise awareness about the prevalence of mental health conditions, reduces stigma, and encourage people to find and seek treatment sooner, I encourage you to check out this article from The Recovery Village.

Cheers to taking small steps everyday. You got this.

Love always,

CDOG