Ignorance is a Blissful Choice

“Ignorance is bliss”.

I see why some people chose to stay ignorant and never change. No shade here, I promise. I truly do get it now. Just for fun, I decided to google “Ignorance is bliss”, and this is what came up: “A person who does not know about a problem does not worry about it.” This idiom is usually used to describe someone who does not consume popular media (like the news), because they would like to continue to believe that everything is “just fine”.

Well, today I’m writing to those of us who realize that well, everything isn’t just fine. If you are on social media at all, specifically Twitter, you may see a tweet from time to time that goes something like this “Maybe I am the problem” or “I’m the drama?” or even simpler “It’s me.” I’m here to tell you that all of the above are true.

You are the problem.

As I inch closer to 30 (it’s feeling more like a fast-paced walk though, June will be here very soon), I’ve been even more introspective than I ever thought possible. Going through the mental archives of my 20’s with a fine-tooth comb has revealed some (ok, a lot) of things that I don’t care to carry over into this next chapter of my life. For the most part I’ve always considered myself a pretty decent person, and the people around me always seemed to echo that sentiment, so I didn’t really feel the need to seriously self-reflect. Or rather, I did, but I just chucked those bad pieces of myself over my shoulder and kept it pushing. Error #1.

Just like a bad habit, those things I kept overlooking, even though small in my eyes, always came back to bite me in some way. For the sake of being relatable and transparent, I’ll give you an example. I consider myself a self-less person, right? Usually, I go about my days reflecting on how my thoughts, words and actions will impact others, and adjust accordingly. Seems harmless right? Wrong. Three things always happen: I expect others to act the same way toward me, which almost never happens, I bend (or suspend) my boundaries to accommodate someone else, or I end up offering help that nobody asked for, because I was anticipating a need that wasn’t even there to begin with.

For years I willfully ignored those flaws in myself and decided to create the narrative that I was “underappreciated” or “too kind”. The reality was that I lacked boundaries, and I wanted everyone to like me, so I decided to try to be everything to everyone, and everywhere at once. I often found myself exhausted and frustrated. Nobody asked me to do all of that. 😂

So yes, I was the problem.

But I get it, it’s hard to look inward and deal with the difficult parts of yourself, which is why I understand that some people choose to be willfully ignorant. I suppose there is a type of bliss that comes with the attitude of “that’s just how I am”, and people can choose to either accept of reject that. I’m not here to bash or tell you that that attitude is wrong. What I am here to tell you though, is that there is a deep sense of accomplishment that comes with seeing growth. To be able to notice a difference in how you think, act, or react to a situation gives a satisfaction that can’t quite be explained unless you do the inner work.

So, you, you can live in blissful ignorance, or you can look at the person in the mirror and get to work. The choice is yours.

Love always,

CDOG