Black Men and Mental Health Part 2
Hello friends! I am pleased to present today’s guest post in observation of Mental Health Awareness Month. Sometimes there are polarizing opinions on women creating safe spaces for men to express themselves, but I choose to take the stance that mental health is important for all, regardless of gender expression. Today I have the honor of introducing Jeremy Blackmon. He is someone I deeply admire for his transparency on this topic. I am thankful to him for sharing with all of us.
“Imagine you live a pretty normal life (so you think), and then all of a sudden you are hit with a wave of despair, sadness, and a constant fight to hold back tears. You try not to think too much about it and shrug it off as the natural order of your emotional development. However, it just continues for days on end and nothing you do is bringing you any joy or satisfaction. When it starts to dawn on you that something is absolutely wrong, you confide in those closest to you, but they only make it worse because they do not understand and disregard how you feel with a “just pray about it” or “you’ll be okay. Just push through.” Not because they mean any ill intent, you all just don’t come from a community that thinks of mental health as something to develop and maintain as you go through life. Like me, I am pretty sure many of you know exactly what this experience is like, and how navigating through it is one of the best-worst things that can happen to your character development.
It was during my sophomore year of undergrad that this became my reality. I started to feel a deep sadness and a desperate cry for help on a daily basis. I thought I was crazy and kept it to myself as long as I could. This would prove to be an awful thought process to adopt. As I was trying to hold on to my masculinity and rationality, I was gradually deteriorating mentally. I wanted to maintain this tough persona and remain unfazed by life, but it was impossible. Many people began to notice that I was not myself and started to probe more than usual. It was then that I knew I needed to seek help.
Being a black man, it was hard to believe that I was dealing with a mental health issue. Growing up, anything dealing with mental health was labeled “white people stuff” and that was the end of that. So, it shouldn’t be any surprise as to why it was so difficult for me to confront the ever so developing inner struggle within myself. No one prepared me for the possibility of my life experiences taking a toll on me at some point in my life and that’s why I, and so many others that look just like me, found and find it so hard to confront their mental health journey in a healthy manner.
I physically shuddered at the thought of finding a therapist, let alone actually talking to one. Even so, I knew I had to get over myself if I was going to figure out what I was going through and how I should move forward. It took me three months of rationalizing before I finally attended my first therapy session, and let me tell you, it was so hard. Talking to a stranger about your problems??? That’s unheard of where I’m from, but as my therapist would later tell me, you can’t grow if you don’t get uncomfortable. And I definitely haven’t allowed myself to be comfortable since that first session.
I am sharing my story because I want other men and women that look like me and have a similar experience within their mental health to know they are not alone. Just because you are black does not mean you have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. You do not have to be strong and closed off because other people make you feel stupid/crazy for feeling the way you do. The mind is a scary thing when it takes on a personality of its own, but you become even more dangerous when you allow yourself to feel what you do and actually work to figure out how to overcome or cope with your mental health’s debilitating state.
You are not crazy, and you are not a victim. You are strong despite what the world has led you to believe. Give in to what you feel. Seek the help that is available to you. And leave that outdated way of thinking in the past. You are in a place that our parents and grandparents never thought possible for them, and it is up to you to ensure you are prepared to be the best version of you that there is. Mental health is a universal issue, and as long as breath is in my body, I will advocate for therapy and self-care with a relentless passion. ”
I hope these honest truths about mental health give us the courage to admit that it is ok to ask for help. You are not weak, and you are not alone. Stay tuned for the finale this Wednesday.
Love always,
CDOG